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The Lib­eral party has since 1996 pur­sued a strategy of win­ning outer-suburban city seats, par­tic­u­larly in Sydney (the so-called “Howard bat­tlers”, which don’t exist, see here down­load Bill Bailey: Part Troll ), by run­ning par­tic­u­larly dim-witted can­did­ates, with a tend­ency to not fil­ter the con­tents of their brains from their vocal chords. It’s been dis­turb­ingly suc­cess­ful, with formerly mar­ginal seats now firmly in Coali­tion hands.

So, in my arrog­ance and elit­ism, I’m just going to list them. Their foibles are eas­ily Googled:

• Trish Draper, Makin
• Pat Farmer, Macarthur
• Jackie Kelly, Lindsay
• Louise Markus, Greenway
• Danna Vale, Hughes

This is not to say that Labor doesn’t also pro­duce some spec­tac­u­lar mor­ons, but their stu­pid­ity is releg­ated to being union hacks, and they do not form an iden­ti­fi­able and con­sist­ent grouping.

This group’s tend­ency to shoot from the hip has gen­er­ally not been dis­cour­aged, and they more or less stick together. Which is why this schism is so satisfying:

MP raises Islam­isa­tion fear in RU486 debate The Heart­break Kid

“I’ve actu­ally read in the Daily Tele­graph where a cer­tain imam from the Lakemba mosque actu­ally said that Aus­tralia is going to be a Muslim nation in 50 years’ time,” she said.

“I didn’t believe him at the time but when you actu­ally look at the birthrates and you look at the fact that we are abort­ing ourselves almost out of exist­ence by a 100,000 abor­tions every year.

Mrs Vale’s con­cerns are not shared by the other spon­sors of the amend­ment, includ­ing Jackie Kelly.

“I think Danna’s on her own on that one,” she said.

Maybe we could com­bine Vale’s idea of a Gal­lipoli theme parkâ„¢ with her Aryan breed­ing centre?

What an age we live in, where Jackie Kelly is the voice of reason.